i belong

got me one of those LIVE STRONG yellow bracelets
at the ABC store the other day
it was in a $1 bin
if lance armstrong, althete extrodinaire, could beat cancer,
surely i can beat up the multiple sclerosis and one of it’s baby’s – glaucoma –
overtaking my brain, spinal column.legs & eyes
i belong

signed-up as a friend to the Public Broadcasting System
i do every time i go to 7-eleven
there’s a cup to give change
nova is fascinating, so is american frontiers or whatever it is called, hosted by alan alda
i belong

sally struthers, some guy with white hair & beard, angelina jolie,
and dick gregory who just showed his face to me
plead with the cameras
i’ve heard their desperation seen the poverty felt the ‘got to do it now’
didn’t call in
to receive that photo and history of some forgotten child, but i have
given to the boys & girls club – not my hold-your-hand-big-sista-take you to the zoo
to the museum to see ’em great works of art to humanity-kine
another one of those coin drops
i belong

clicked my way thru a variety of special newsletter offers –
only a select few receive
to enrich my thoughts with their thoughts
another propaganda of the soul uncle sam and bill gates have schemed
i belong

my mom used to live on wit’s end, an apropos addition to
kipling in michigan
i divert
found most of my journals
been digesting and laughing and mocking and sobbing so the fish can hear me,
they have no ears you know, and agreeing with the sarcasm in my words –
god, i remember when i wrote of those heart-stabbing moments-grabbing slices
throughout my body – better than photographs i’ve always said.

you wouldn’t believe the conversation i just finished in the shower as i shaved my italian-greek
i really do want a tape recorder
been saying so for over a quarter of a century
if only there were a way to be in my head and record…
not so easy without a pen, no paper, not even a decent square of toiletpaper
to write on

again, diversions
maybe this is my muse
the amusements i have for myself
however, very much like a photograph… better yet, a slide show,
the ways these divergent synapses syncopate to show themselves always briefly
click, an echoic glimpse of something else
click, the onomatopoeic – the creative group online who has provided me
with what i’ve been without for too long
i’m writing again
i’m reading fresh works from masterful hands and beckoning minds
who travel where i haven’t been, where i am all too familiar
i’m travelling within this new circle
i belong

© dld 6-26-06


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