Accidental Awakening

The pain was starting to feel normal, for this moment in the Grand Scheme of Life.

No longer did the questions echo.

No shorter had I realized they had stopped,

when the truth became evident and more important than relishing the “what if’s” to death.

.

The pains, reduced their presence to a showing of complacent indiffence.

I so willfully accepted this New Order without doubts that this is what should be.

.

You can say that I gave in too quickly, too easily.

I can say that I resigned myself to accepting the cards that lay before me.

There is good reason that I am no longer fighting.

.

My surrender may seem spineless and my will may come off as spent,.

but let’s face it, the only positive to come from this accidental awakening is that

I did not die.

.

The fact that I cannot communicate to you in person, with my voice,

does not mean that I can’t try to speak through what I haven’t said,

or am able to do now that you’ve gone.

.

This is my only attempt to let “us” go and not get stranded in the system’s slurry of red tape..

I am not an orphan.

I am whole without you.

I can and will be the daughter your genes infused inside to just become.

.

I only wish you had not left it up to me to make the decision to let you go.

This accidental awakening of me

to BE….

.

without you.

.

.

.

© dld o6.15.1o
writtenfori ThinkingTen—A Writer’s Playground

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